4 Ways To Tame Your Fears and Reach Your Goals

The Holstee Manifesto, developed by the founders of Holstee Company (Holstee.com)

There are three things that often hinder us from accomplishing our goals: procrastination, lack of follow through, and lack of self confidence.  Each of these barriers is linked by a common thread – fear.  Fearing failure, we delay taking any action at all, preferring the safety in ‘keeping still’ and maintaining the status quo. Intellectually we know that we are stunting our growth, but emotionally, we just cannot bring ourselves to take the leap.

There are some things that you can do to break the fear barrier, and get on with the business of living the life you really want to live:

Choose to Look at Fear in a Different Way

Learn to see the thing you fear as an opportunity, rather than a risk of failure.  Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, who was just named the youngest female self-made billionaire by Forbes Magazineis a fascinating case study in the power of perseverance. What struck me most about her journey is what she said about her father’s method of encouraging his children:

 ” My Father used to ask my brother and I what we had failed at recently, and then congratulate us.  He did complete reverse psychology on us.  Failure was something we sought out, and not a scary thing. I think many people are debilitated by the fear of failure, so he gave us a real gift.”

Can you imagine how much further we could all go if we could use our failures as the measuring stick for our success?  Continue reading

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Salary Secrecy Perpetuates The Wage Gap

Image: Kittikun Atsawintarangkul (FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

One thing that continues to baffle me is how secretive the majority of us are about our salaries. Yes, I understand that it is not an appropriate topic to discuss amongst polite company – I totally get that with regard to conversations outside of work. But in the workplace, wouldn’t transparency regarding salaries help to keep all of us honest – employer and employee alike?  There would be less cause to worry about being shortchanged due to gender, race, marital status, parental status, and sexual orientation. Theoretically, we could be reassured that our pay would be directly commensurate with our performance.

I became even more convinced about this position after learning about a recent study regarding pay for women.

It is widely known that the gender wage gap has women earning 77 cents to every dollar their male counterparts make (according to census data).  Many of us have suspected that there is an even deeper discrepancy in wages when comparing the pay of working non-mothers with that of working mothers, but I have not been aware of any solid proof of these wage differences.  That is, until I learnt of a recent study, co-authored by Kate Krause, an economy professor from the University of New Mexico, that found that women who have children now earn 7 to 14 percent less than women who do not have children.

As a society, we have embraced any number of reasons for this discrepancy – mothers tend to opt out of full-time work, they stop trying to climb the corporate ladder, or they begin to accept positions below their skill set, etc.  But what if the commonly accepted reasons do not fully account for the pay discrepancies?  Continue reading

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Wildly Celebrating One Year!

Image

I apologize for being so quiet over the last month.  I spent a few weeks of absolute bliss in my home country of Zimbabwe, after having been away for 9 years.   It was an amazing feeling to be surrounded by loved ones, and to introduce my children to a huge family that they had never met before.  We also visited stunning South Africa, which is where I photographed this majestic zebra while on safari.  Since metaMOMphorsis is all about moms, I thought you might enjoy photos of the mothers and babies I encountered in the wild, so I have included them in this post.  Continue reading

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Happy New Year!

I would like to wish my faithful readers a happy, prosperous, and fulfilling New Year filled with wonderful blessings.    It has been a great pleasure sharing my thoughts with you in 2011, and I look forward to continuing the journey with you in 2012!

metaMOMphorsis

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In The Trenches: Part 2. Preparing to Stay Home – A Working Mom’s Story

Graur Razvan Ionut http://bit.ly/tNe7Ev

This is part 2 of an interview that I conducted with a professional mother who has been struggling to balance her home and work life. She and her husband have developed a master plan for her to be able to stay home. Since she is still working, I have changed her name to protect her job and identity.

PART 2

MetaMOMphorsis: Do you feel that you would want to find some type of work in your current field so as not to “waste” your degree?

Kim: Maybe initially, but I would get it out of my system. I got the degrees and the certifications, I know I qualified for them, and I am proud to have had them. But I would be ok, because it would be my choice not to maintain them. When I am out, I will be out. I will definitely go and do something else. I would try to maintain some kind of activity to ensure that I look viable on a resume. I think that would be easy because I could do something while my daughter is in school. I don’t know how hard it would be to find something with the right hours because I haven’t looked for a job in 10 years. I do know that I don’t want to be punching a time clock.   Continue reading

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In The Trenches: Part 1. Preparing to Stay Home – A Working Mom’s Story

Graur Razvan Ionut http://bit.ly/tNe7Ev

In the Trenches is a new series in which I will explore the thoughts of a mother who is in the throes of a particular life event. This first installment of the series is a 2-part interview that I conducted with a professional mother who has been struggling to balance her home and work life. She and her husband have developed a master plan for her to be able to stay home. Since she is still working, I have changed her name to protect her job and identity.

PART 1.

MetaMOMphorsis: Tell me about your home and work life.

Kim: I usually work Monday – Friday, starting at 7:30 or 8 am, and I work a minimum of 9 hours daily. I also work at home on the weekends in order to keep on top of my workload. I travel throughout the United States, often with limited notice, due to the nature of my job. My husband travels worldwide, often for weeks at a time. My husband and I both have difficult jobs and we are very stressed out. We carry our work issued cell phones at all times. We do not get much of a break because it is only the two of us and our 7 year old daughter – we do not have any family nearby. We are physically and emotionally drained. Since we both travel, it is especially hard because whoever is left behind has to handle everything. Some times are particularly challenging. For example, for most of October, one of us was always away. I remember once my husband was away for 3 weeks when my daughter was less than 2 years old. He called to tell me that he had to extend his trip. I remember sitting in my office and crying because it was so hard to handle everything alone.  Continue reading

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Are Women Becoming Less Ambitious?

pink superman logo

I have always thought that it is curious that for all of the talk about the modern-day ‘superwoman’, the only Superman we ever hear of is the cartoon character!

For so long, the party line has been that women are supposed to do it all – just like the super heroes.  Never mind the fact that after working a full workday and then coming home and carrying the major part of the home-based workload, they are often bone tired, and feeling anything but super.

For those of you who have been silently lamenting the wisdom and purpose of leading a life that is consumed with work, and sorely lacking in ‘life’, I hope that you will take comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

Need proof?  Well, consider the results of a very interesting survey that came out last week.  The survey, which was conducted by More magazine, in conjunction with Polling Company Inc./WomanTrend,  found that:

  • Only 1/4 of respondents said they are working toward their next promotion.
  • 2/3 would accept a smaller paycheck.
  • 73% would not apply for their bosses job. Why not?  15% said because of the demands of the household and childcare.  38% said they didn’t want the pressure, office politics or responsibility which come along with such positions.
  • 43% said they are less ambitious than they were a decade ago.

Looking at the survey, it appears, on its face, that women are indeed becoming increasingly less ambitious.  But is there more to the story than a mere lack of ambition?  Continue reading

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